


One Thing That Would Have Changed Everything

by esmerelda_t



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 19:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmerelda_t/pseuds/esmerelda_t
Summary: Maggie can hear the baby snuffling in the crib across the room. He doesn’t sound distressed, just awake, despite the late hour. Maggie is wide awake herself so hauls herself out the bed and shuffles over. Matthew quietens when he sees her, big eyes warily gazing up, like he’s not quite sure about her, not yet. Well it’s fair enough, she’s still not quite sure about him.Or five things that never happened to Matt and Maggie.





	One Thing That Would Have Changed Everything

1.

Maggie can hear the baby snuffling in the crib across the room. He doesn’t sound distressed, just awake, despite the late hour. Maggie is wide awake herself so hauls herself out the bed and shuffles over. Matthew quietens when he sees her, big eyes warily gazing up, like he’s not quite sure about her, not yet. Well it’s fair enough, she’s still not quite _sure_ about him.

They’ve been in the mother and baby unit for about ten weeks now, in a facility in Queens. It's still hazy; arriving there. She remembers being in the apartment, Jack’s apartment, no their apartment, Jack kept insisting. There were people arguing, she remembers, an insistent “She doesn’t need a priest, Jack. She needs a doctor.” It’s a specialist unit, for mothers with bad cases of the baby blues, it had been explained to her. Places where they could be supported and get to know their baby. In a panic the first week she’d insisted they couldn’t afford it, that she had to leave, but Dr Hernandez had reassured her they were funded by the Maria Stark Foundation.

Maggie carefully lifts Matthew up to her, he whimpers momentarily and Maggie is suddenly terrified he’ll start screaming but when he relaxes into her Maggie exhales. She turns to head back towards the bed when the door swings open. It’s Laverne, the night nurse and Maggie remembers the CCTV camera in the corner of the room, to make sure no one harms themselves or their baby. Not that they’d came right out and said it like that.

Laverne asks pleasantly, but with a no nonsense tone underneath, Maggie likes her, “Everything okay, Maggie? Does he need to be changed?” Maggie shakes her head keeping Matthew cradled to her, “No…we were both awake and I just…I was just going to sit with him in bed for a bit.” She rushes to add, “I know he’s too little to sleep in the bed with, that it’s dangerous, I won’t fall asleep with him, I promise.” She adds, “I wouldn’t hurt him.” Laverne smiles but doesn’t reassure Maggie she didn’t think Maggie was going to hurt her baby. Laverne steps into the room, “How about I sit with the two of you for 15 minutes and then we can put Matthew back down?” Maggie nods, accepting the compromise. She sits on the bed, tucks her feet under the covers to keep them warm, reaches down for Matthew’s fingers as he smiles gummily at her.

Laverne sits across from them and says, “I’m not surprised he’s up, Angie said when I came on shift he’d slept the whole day away while you are at Group. He’s a regular little night owl.” Matthew makes a small squealing noise, as if in agreement and Maggie smiles down at him.

2.

Maggie lifts the ice chips to Stephen’s lips, blinking away her blurred vision. He doesn’t need Maggie falling apart. Stephen croaks out, “Thanks, it’s getting late, don’t you need to get back for Matty?” Maggie gives him a bright, false, smile, “Jack’s at home tonight, he just had to heat up their dinner and put Matthew to bed.” Stephen’s lips part as if he is about to reply but before he can another coughing fit overtakes him, it’s wet and wheezy and Maggie can’t help think of drowning.

Stephen had been one of the few neighbours who didn’t avoid her when she returned home with Matthew. Had chatted easily to her, helped her carry the stroller if he met them on the stairs. They’d become friends and Jack’s initial disgruntled remarks had been shut down with a glare from her. This is Stephen’s fourth bout with PCP. They all expect it to be his last.

Once the coughing subsides Stephen falls asleep and Maggie reluctantly gathers up her purse. Checks in with the nurse on her way out, “You’ll call if….” The nurse nods grimly and Maggie nods back, “I’ll come in tomorrow after I drop Matthew at school.” Matthew had asked to visit but Stephen had been insistent, “Kid’s got plenty of time to see horrors, he doesn’t need to see me like this.”

When she gets home Jack is drying the dishes, asks apprehensively, “How is he?” Maggie snaps, it’s been a long day and she can’t help it, “What do you care?” Jack’s face crumples in that kicked dog way, quietly replies, “That’s not fair, Maggie, lots of guys….lots of guys would be uncomfortable, I mean what if Matty caught…” It takes all of Maggie’s self-restraint not to yell, she doesn’t want to wake Matthew, “Caught what? I’ve never been too clear? Matthew was never in danger of catching _anything_ , it doesn’t work that way and you’d know that if you weren’t such a fucking…”

Jack is wide eyed now. Maggie can’t tell if it’s because she swore or if it’s at what she didn’t say, the implication. Jack’s not well educated but he’s far from stupid. She’s not being fair but she’s exhausted and she’s angry that her friend is dying slowing and painfully and hardly anyone gives a shit. Maggie shakes her head and heads to the bathroom, has a quick shower and pulls the over-sized t-shirt she sleeps in on. She doesn’t go into her and Jack’s bedroom. Instead she goes into Matthew’s, climbs in beside him. He shifts round, the creaking bed waking him up, says drowsily, “Mommy? What’s wrong?” Maggie brushes his hair off his face, she needs to cut it, kisses his forehead, “Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep, I love you, you know that, right?” Matthew yawns, “Yeah, I know, I love you too, Mommy.”

3.

Maggie rushes down the hallway, she’d left for ten minutes to get a coffee, that’s all, but Matthew is shrieking. He’s been in the hospital four days. Four days since the doctor told her and Jack that Matthew’s eyesight was gone, destroyed. Currently Matthew is screaming and Maggie throws her coffee in the nearest trash can as she rushes to him, she beats the nurse to the room.

Matthew’s hands are over his ears and his face is scrunched up in pain. Maggie eases his hands down, shushing him, “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay, I’m here.” Matthew says between sobs, “It’s too loud, Mommy, please, make it stop, make it stop.” Maggie climbs onto the bed, shifts him in her arms so he’s cradled to her chest, he’d confessed that morning that he could hear her heart. Maggie has no idea what was in the shit that’d gotten into his eyes, “Can you hear my heart, baby?” He nods against her, and she dips her head to kiss his hair, “Listen to that, just that, ignore everything else. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m always going to be here.”

4.

Maggie’s lip is still swollen, speaking hurts, in more ways than one, “I’m a terrible mother.” Father Lantom sighs, “You’re not a terrible mother, Maggie, far from it.” Maggie scoffs, “What sort of mother doesn’t even notice her son is being abused?” She’d noticed the bruises of course, she wasn’t an idiot. She was working and back at college and she had to cook and clean and she’d just accepted Matthew’s excuses about the bruises on his arms. Then she’d seen the bruises on his hip, finger marks, when he’d wandered out of the bathroom in a towel, obviously not realising the marks hadn’t completed faded.

To say Maggie had lost her shit entirely was an understatement. Matthew wouldn’t tell her how it happened, had gotten angry and shouted back at her. That wasn’t too surprising, he’d been an especially mouthy little shit since Jack died. Grief and hormones weren’t a great combination and Matthew had been first on the scene. Had already been bent over Jack’s bloodied body by the time Maggie had caught up with him after he bolted out the apartment.

Matthew, despite what he may have thought, wasn’t actually the smartest member of the family. It had been surprisingly easy to follow him. Maggie had figured, correctly it turned out, that he was so familiar with her that he subconsciously blocked her out. What she’d found was Matthew with some creepy old guy in a basement and in the altercation that followed the creepy old guy smacked her in the mouth. Matthew had gone from screaming at Maggie to leave him alone to screaming at the creepy old guy to leave Maggie alone and had rushed him. The creepy old guy quickly shook him off, sighed like he was terribly disappointed and left. That had been three days ago and Matthew hasn’t spoken to her since.

Father Lantom takes a deep breath, “Matthew came to speak to me yesterday, this man…he was training Matthew for some war, it sounds like occult nonsense.” Maggie frowns, “He was from a cult?” Father Lantom is hesitant, “Maybe, it all sounds….odd. Matthew believed this man was helping him though. He’s struggled to control his anger since Jack died, understandably given the circumstances.” Maggie argues, “He wasn’t helping, he was hurting him!” Father Lantom doesn’t disagree with her.

When Maggie arrives home Matthew’s bedroom door is closed, he’s grounded and Maggie wonders if she should double check he’s actually in there but then she remembers Father Lantom’s advice to give Matthew some space to sort through his feelings. She compromises, knocks on the door and says she’s making toast and does he want some, at least the grunted no confirms he’s in his room. She eats her own toast perfunctorily, not really hungry.

She heads to bed afterwards, she’s got some reading for her anatomy class to do but the words blur as she stares at them. She reaches over to Jack’s side of the bed as her breath comes in little gulps. It’s been three years. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew he was throwing fights, she just chose to pretend she didn’t. She didn’t really think about the consequences of it, of how deep he might be in with mob. She doesn’t notice the door push open until Matthew shakily says from the doorway, “Mom? Please don’t cry, Mom, I’m sorry.”

When she looks up she sees he’s not got his glasses on, his eyes flickering around. She wipes at her own eyes, she wants to say _you did nothing wrong_ but she needs him to understand, “You can’t lie to me, not about stuff like this, your Dad…” She chokes out the words, “Your Dad lied to me, for years, and look where it ended. He could have told me, he should have told me, I can’t go through that again, not with you.” Matthew’s face has crumpled and she reaches for a tissue to blow her nose, saying, “Come here.” When Matthew crosses to her she pulls him to her and he buries his face in her neck, throws his arms around her. She holds onto him as tightly as she can.

5.

Maggie frowns as she looks again at the cut on Jessica’s scalp. Sure head wounds bled deceptively but this? She blurts out, “This was much worse twenty minutes ago when I first looked at it.” She’d stitched the cut on Matthew’s leg up first, berating him the whole way through. Jessica snorts and drawls, “I heal quickly, that’s why I insisted Magoo go first.”

Maggie cleans the wound and puts a few strips on it telling Jessica, “I’d rather you stayed here tonight, just in case, as it’s a head wound. You can have Matthew’s old room.” She nods to where Matthew is asleep on the couch, snoring, “He seems comfortable where he is.” Jessica seems hesitant but Maggie reiterates sternly, “Really, I insist, I can give you something to wear.”

She digs out a t-shirt of hers, and because Jessica is so tall, a worn pair of sweats she keeps for Matthew. She knocks on the bedroom door to warn Jessica she’s about to enter, hands her the clothing before saying, “Thanks for watching out for him tonight, I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know that there’s…others. That there’s help when he needs it, when he’s not too dumb to ask for it.” Jessica snorts and asks, “You met Rand yet? You may live to regret he’s made superfriends when you do.” Maggie replies dryly, “I’ve not had the pleasure. You’re the only one he brings home, it’s how I know you’re his favourite.” She smirks as Jessica clears her throat and turns away to examine the clothing, muttering “Thanks for these.” Maggie leaves her to it.

It’s still pitch black in her bedroom when she snaps awake at the bedroom door opening and Matthew shuffling forward to complain, “Jessica is in my bed. I think she’s drooling on the pillow.” Maggie yawns, “Oh are you not getting into bed together friends?” Matthew splutters, “Mom! It’s not…we’re just…” He suddenly changes track, “The couch is lumpy, can I sleep in here with you?” Maggie moves over to let him get in but can’t help herself, “You’re 31, Matthew, what will your lady friend think? Sleeping with your Mommy, you want me to get your blanky out for you too?” Matthew hisses “Mom!” at her as he gets in and Maggie grins in the darkness.


End file.
